Sex & Relationships
I work with individuals and couples, both verbally and somatically if necessary.
For couples going through challenges the online conference call setting in separate rooms can be a good place to begin (should there be resistance for both to talk within the same space). Otherwise I am happy to meet in person with either or both parties.
Many persons self-blame and feel shamed if a relationship doesn't seem to be working. It can be helpful to realise that your are two individuals learning to relate, and that the relationship itself is the third element that we will be examining and fine-tuning: and sometimes you will have to let go...
Sexuality and Identity Coaching: addresses how we view ourselves as whole persons (Mind; Body; Emotions; Spirit: and Energy).
Mind: Information. Your “self-talk,” thinking about sexual performance, capacity for fantasy, troubling thought patterns such as compulsivity.
Emotions: Feelings that you carry from the past, about your body and body image, what you suppress and express, how you express your emotions, and your capacity for intimacy .
Body and body-image issues: Physical. Knowing how your own sexual pattern works, understanding your own body's sexual architecture and function, acknowledging your own sexual (dys)functions, learning skills for how to be a successful lover alone or with a partner .
Spirit: The essence of self. Esoteric moments or practices that transcend the moment, such as peak orgasm experiences; sacred sexuality; the more subtle and delicate manner in which people deny or reflect their inner self through sexuality; the path of sex to experience the Divine or God.
Energy: Sex is all about energy! The build-up, the containment and the expression of energy. In my “one-on-one work” I observe energy patterns with the individual and with a partner and give coaching feedback for handling this often overlooked part of sexuality.
Sex coaching embraces a present, creative, dynamic and result-focused ‘art’ in interacting with client(s).
More about that...
The sexological model deals with what people do sexually and how they think and feel about it. Sexuality can be the root of our expression, though paradoxically its non-expression may also be pivotal to our deepest fears, and eventual repression as we navigate life and succumb to blending with belief and political systems. Therefore, for a definition of ‘sexual health’ one must err on the side of caution. ‘Sexual health’ is a construct of widely variant societal mores. Notwithstanding, sexual health, as I see it, is related to physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being, and how one feels and expresses as a person.
With so many taboos and dysfunction in relationships, there is clearly a great need to extend life coaching beyond its traditional bounds. Though life coaching also aims to empower and lead an individual away from pathology and ‘fixedness’, in my experience it can side-step getting to grips with the depth of knowledge and openness required in working with a person’s sexuality. The training at Sex Coach University has helped me to be able to reach out and go deep.
COACHING & TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING & SOCIAL SUPPORT GROUPS
I have consulted extensively with persons who had resisted online dating, and who, for whatever reason(s) want some tips in breaking in to the scene. This has included my going out as 'wingperson' or even assisting with writing up profiles (don't forget your pics are most important!). There are some rules in the way you show up that can change your journey and outcome significantly, and this can mean the difference between enjoying yourself and feeling hopeless. Your attitude is king!
For those who have arrived in Portugal, feel they don't yet belong, I facilitate a Men's group & can connect you so you can find your feet here. I speak Portuguese, French, and Spanish. One-on-one session is recommended to begin. All genders/persons are welcome!